


Eye for an eye. Blood for blood.

by Phoenix_0



Series: MCU [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Self-Harm, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_0/pseuds/Phoenix_0
Summary: "Please, please talk to him. Please Stark. Hes hurting, my best friend is in pain, and we don't know what to do.".....Peter deserves this, the pain, the blood. Hes spilled so much of other peoples its only fair that he spill his own. right? Well his friends disagree, and when they find out what hes doing they contact the only person who might be able to get through to him.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Sam Wilson, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: MCU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690594
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning!!!!! This work contains descriptions of self harm that may be triggering for some readers. Please stay safe and if you think you will be triggered then please don't read.

Peters POV

Climbing in through my bedroom window after patrol, I can hear Mays quite breathing through the walls telling me she's asleep. Good. I take off my suit and put on some pyjama bottoms and grab the top before seeking in to the shared bathroom and locking the door. 

Switching on the lights, I look down at my self, the bright, florescent lights highlighting the deep crimson of the blood on my pale skin. Not all of it is mine, some is the robbers as she had cut her hand when smashing the window and some had gotten on me during the fight, but the majority of it is from the slice across my upper chest. _That's going to hurt for a bit_ though even as I watched it I could see the deeper levels of tissue knitting themselves back together, it would most likly slow down and not finish healing until tomorrow night _tonight, its already 2 am_.

I took some toilet paper and wet it, using it to clean the blood from around the wound first so I could tape some gauze down and stop more blood getting everywhere while I slept, and then continued to clean the rest off the blood off me. When I was finished I flushed the used toilet paper and sat on the lid of the toilet with a small replacement blade for my razor in my hand. 

Looking down at my arm I could see the clean, even, pale lines, hardly noticeable on my already pale skin. They almost shone in the bathroom light, taunting me, _**Failure! Week! Nothing! Useless! Killer!**_. Tears flowed down my face and my hand shook as I took the blade to my arm, _one, **'for the little girl who was hurt in the fire last week'** two, **'for the woman who got her purse stolen because you weren't fast enough'** three, four, five, **'for being such an inconvenience to May'** six, seven, **' for annoying Mr Stark'** eight, nine, ten, **' for killing uncle Ben'**_. I stop and just stair for a minute and watch as the blood beads on my skin, noticing that as I went the cuts got deeper and deeper until the one that was just under the edge of where my sleeve would be was bleeding steadily. _It doesn't matter, it'll be a scar by tonight._

I put my night shirt on and sneak back to my room, slipping in to bed and falling quickly into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Mj POV

Me, Ned and Peter are in the library after school working on a group project when I notice it. "Hey Peter could you pass me the laptop charger" Ned asks, not looking up.  
"Yeah sure" He reaches for the wire that's just on the next table over, causing his sleeve to ride up and revel a few red lines that are way to perfect to be from spider-maning. I kick Ned to get him to look up and nod my head over. He looks confused for a second before his eyes go wide and a bit misty, I shake my head to tell him to keep quite so he looks down and carries on typing.

"Here you are, and I hate to run but if I don't go now I'm going to be late to the tower." He says as he stuffs his things in to his bag and shouts bye over his shoulder "See you loser" I shout though my voice wobbles a tiny bit at the end. 

I'm still trying to justify what I saw in my head when I hear a little hiccough from next to me. I look at Ned to see tears falling freely down his face and he's biting his lip to keep in any noise he might make. I finish packing up our stuff and drag him out the back doors to the ally at the back of the school and he just breaks down sobbing, ' _what do i do?_ ' . 

Soon he calms down enough to talk and asks the one thing that's going round and round in my head and i just cant answer. "Why?" he whimpers.  
"I don't know"  
"He always looked so happy, how could he... why would he...?"  
"I don't know"  
"We have to tell someone. We can't just.. we cant leave him "  
"I KNOW NED" i shout making him jump and look at me with wide eyes. "I know I shouldn't have snapped, sorry, but my head is going a mile an minute and you talking non stop isn't helping. Sorry." i say looking at the ground. he just nods but stays quite.

Suddenly I have an idea but I know for a fact the Peter wont like it, "I have a plan but I have a feeling Peter will be pissed at us for it."   
"If it helps then I don't care"

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><  
Tonys POV

I'm in my lab waiting for peter to arrive when I get an alert from FRIDAY "Sir it seems my protocols are being over written. Call accepted." . In that moment the holo screen I'm looking at is replaced with the faces of Peters two friends ' _what are their names?_ '. "Ned and Mj was it? What do you think your doing, I thought we established that you wouldn't hack my things any more?" I question, trying to use humour to cover my concern. If they were contacting me there was a high likely hood that something was wrong with Peter.

That's when I take a closer look at the image in front of me, Ned looked like he had been crying, with red eyes and tear tracks going down his face, and Mj didn't look to far off herself. "Kids, whats going on, whats wrong? Is Peter ok?" I press starting to get scared.

Ned looks at the girl who takes a breath and starts talking, " No. Peter isn't ok but I need you to listen to me Stark and stay where you are." she pauses, perhaps waiting for me to protest or to gather her thoughts. "We were in the library working on a group project just before he left, Ned asked Peter to pass him a laptop charger from the next table over. He did, but when he did his sleeve rode up..." her voice broke and a few tears escaped. 

My stomach dropped and I subconsciously garbed my own left wrist where faint silver lines decorate the skin,' _please no_ '. " He... um... He - he had cuts, to perfect to be from patrol, to neat. Maybe about three from what I saw but to be honest there could easily be more further up. We didn't know what to do. Please, please talk to him. Please Stark. Hes hurting, my best friend is in pain, and we don't know what to do." at this point they are both openly crying and I have a feeling I am as well as I can taste salt on my lips.

I clear my throat and look away from the screen " I will. I'll talk to him. I promise" and with that I swipe my hand signalling for the call to be ended.

I just stare at the ground. ' _How did this happen? How could my happy little spider be hurting so much? How could I have not noticed?_ Its that last one that hurts the most.

Looking at the time, I have about ten minutes before Peter gets here so I leave the lab and rush up to the common room. when in the elevator I ask FRIDAY to tell Sam to get to the common room. His work with vets gives him experience in this field that I am severely lacking. When I get there I see Clint was already in there and Sam has just got there and I make a quick decision to include Clint as he has kids around the same age as Peter and the more help I have in this the less likely I am to make a mess of it.

The second they see me they relies that this isn't just some social call and something is wrong, "Tony whats going on? " Sam asks, concern flooding his voice.  
"Do you want me to go?" Clint asks having figured that I asked Sam there.   
"No, I.. um.. can you help as well please?" I ask, getting a nod in response.  
"Right well, you guys know I have an intern, Peter, right?"  
"How could we not, you don't shut up about the kid"  
"Yeah, well hes not just my intern, hes also Spider-man. And before you lecture me, I didn't think there was going to be a fight at the air port never mind one that bad. And if you think you can stop him please try, I have tried to stop him, his aunt has tried to stop him, we have all tried to stop him, he just doesn't listen." I pause to see if they are going to say anything and when all I get is disapproving glares I continue.  
"But that's not what i wanted help with. I just got off a call with the kids friends. They found out hes been- hurting himself. Cuts on his arms, and I don't know what to do." The last bit is said in a breath as more tears fall down my face and i look down to try and hide it but it was to late. 

I look back up and I both of them have sympathetic looks on their faces, "I don't know what to do" I finish.  
"How long until you see him next?" Sam asks  
"About six minutes" I say hoping its long enough to come up with something.  
"You need to address this, no skipping around the bush or making jokes you need to be blunt and straight forward other wise he will find a way to switch subjects" Clint said, more serious than I've seen him on any mission ever.  
"First though you need to ask to see the injury's. If they are cuts you need to make sure they are properly treated. Because he has super healing and hes a teenager hes more likely to not treat them properly and even with the healing infection sucks. " Sam says and I nod along to show I'm listening, coming up with a plan in my head.  
"I could check them for you" he offers "I know you aren't the most medically trained"   
"Thank you" I say in lieu of actually agreeing   
"You have to be the one to talk to him though. He needs to feel safe and not pressured in any way" Clint says and before I can answer FRIDAY pipes up saying Peter is here some and Sam go back to the lab and wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this has discussions of self harm that my be triggering to some readers so please take care.

Peters POV

Walking into the lab, I plaster a smile on my face, "Hey Mr Stark, how are you?" I ask without looking over, dumping my bag at the end of my bench. After a few seconds without a response I look over confused and see Mr Stark looking at me concerned with a guy that is intently recognisable.

"Mr Falcon sir its so nice to meet you!" I say walking up to him to shake his hand only to drop it when I notice that hes looking at me with the same look as Mr Stark. I tilt my head confused "what-um-whats going on?" _'Have I done some thing? What am i saying, of course I have, I'm such a failure, hes probably going to take my suit and kick me out. **Idiot** '_

"-id!"  
"Yeah, sorry, spaced for a second" I chuck nervously  
"Kid, I'm going to ask you something and its non negotiable, ok?"  
I nod slowly, sure that he is seconds away from asking for my suit and this time for good. I look down to hopefully hide the fact that I'm seconds away from crying _'He already thinks your pathetic, he doesn't need any more reasons'_. "Kid, can you show me your arms please?"

My mind blanks and my hands start shaking, "wh-why, why would you- why would I want..." I stumble over my words and take a few steps back shaking my head. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Mr Falcon "Peter right? Peter we already know, we just want to make sure your ok and nothing is going to get infected or worse, ok?"  
I cant take it, its bad enough that they know but the fact that they want to see... I snap and shove him off me causing him to fall to the floor and jump up onto the ceiling and escape in to the vents. 

><><><><><><><><><><  
Sams POV

I can see the pure fear in his eyes and before I can do anything I'm on the floor and the kid is gone, "Ugh, don't touch and try to have a heart to heart. Got it." I grone. "You ok?" Tony asks helping me up  


"Yeah I'm fine, nothing Steve hasn't done in training. We need to find him though, after that response I'm not positive he wont do more damage to him self" and with that were on our way to the common room.

We see Clint has already left so I shoot him a text explaining what happened and asking him if he could search the vents since he knows them the best, and then Tony brings up the security crammers on the TV. He isn't on any of them. "FRIDAY can you see him any where?" Tony asks starting to panic

"Dude, breath, working your self into a panic attack wont help Peter"

Tony takes a breath and sits on the sofa with a huff "Sorry boss but Peter isn't within my sensors" FRIDAY says which seems to make Tony panic again. _Right change of tactic_.

"Ok so that narrows it down right? only the vents and balconies don't have sensors so that's where he has to be." I say trying to bring logic to the search to keep Tony calm.

"There's also the roof." Tony says, obviously think of the worse case scenario. 

"Tony, just because someone self-harms, it doesn't mean they're suicidal. From the way he acted I doubt hes there, in fact my guess would be hes still in the vents, which is where Clint's searching, so lets just wait here for his call ok?" I ask sitting next to him. Tony nods and rests his head on the back of the sofa with his eyes closed. _'I just hope I'm right_

><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Clints POV

I make my way to the closest vent great and clamber in, hitting my head as I do. ' _Good job I never claimed to be graceful_.' Its dark, the only light being from the occasional opening, so I take out my phone and use it as a torch. ' _how the hell is the kid able to see in here_ ' I wonder as I nearly fall into a hole leading to the lower levels of the tower, ' _oh wait, super senses_ ' , I huff at that thought. If this kid is as panicked as Sam made out and he's able to see in here without a torch, he's going to be a hell of a lot faster than me.

Just as I get to the part of the vents that's over the training room, I hear a weird shuffling sound around one of the corners. ' _Please be Peter, please be Peter_ ' I recite over and over, not realy wanting to fight an intruder in the vents again. That had sucked.

I round the corner to see its a dead end with a lump trying to shove its self further and further in the corner, trying not to be seen, and shaking like mad.' _Bingo_ '. "Hey kid," I whisper, trying not to startle him, "you had us worried for a second. Do you want to come out?" a short shake of his buried head and a sniff is all I get in response.

"Peter, no one is mad or going to shout at you or hate you or anything like that. we are all just worried, Tony especially. So why don't you come out, l make you a nice, warm mug of hot chocolate and Sam can check on you. After that we can watch a film, or you can go home, or if your feeling up to it, you and Tony can talk." It's an ultimatum I've made with my kids when they've hid in their rooms because they think they've done something wrong or they've had an argument or just got upset in general. It has never failed and it seems it never will, because as soon as I finish talking Peter lifts his head so his eyes can reach mine. There are faint tear traces down his cheeks and his eyes are rimed red. I give a small encouraging smile and shuffle back a bit to give him more room so he doesn't feel trapped.' _Like I said earlier, fighting in a vent sucks_ '.

He slowly starts to uncurl and gives me what looks like a grimace but I could tell it was meant to be a smile, "Hi" his voice is shot from crying "Nice to meet you Mr Barton sir. Talk about bad first impressions." I chuckle a bit at that,' _at least he still has a sence of humour_ '.

"Its fine kid. First time I met cap, I was mind controlled and tried to kill him." I chuckle trying to get him to relax some.

At this point he is fully uncurled and has moved some what towards me, "Ready to go back kid?" I ask. He gives a small nod and with that I make my way to the next opening over and drop out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go (I think). This was originally going to be just 2 chapters but then I decided the heart to heart needed its own chapter, sorry. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and please leave any thoughts, comments or criticisms in the comments. Have a good day <3<3<3<3


	3. Chapter 3

Peters POV

As I walk in to the common room with Mr Barton behind me, I look down at my feet not wanting to see Mr Starks face. ' _He's disgusted with you, your a freek. He's going to take the suit. He's going to kick you out_ '. I feel a pat on my back and look up to see Mr Barton smiling at me before he turns and goes in to the kitchen.

I take a breath and walk in. Mr Stark is sat on the sofa eyes closed and head rested back, tear tracks clearly visible, and Mr Falcon is sat next to him on his phone, neither of them having noticed that I'm here yet. I clear my throat catching their attention, "hi" I say almost in a whisper, "Sorry about running off and pushing you to the floor Mr Falcon."  
"Its alright peter, no harm done."  
"You ok?" Mr Stark asks, his voice catching slightly. I just give a short nod before stopping my self and taking a breath, "No. No I'm not ok. I'm scared and I'm mad and I just want to go home but I know you wont let this go. I made a deal with Mr Barton and if you decide not to go with it then I'm leaving."I say the last bit looking into Mr Starks eyes to show I wasn't backing down.

He nods before asking "What deal?" and so I told him what Mr Barton said, to which he agreed, and that's how I ended up in the med bay, sat on one of the most uncomfortable beds in there, preparing to role up my sleeve. "Ok Peter, I need you to lift your sleeve now."

I just close my eyes and lift the edge, trying not to rub the deeper ones as they are still slightly sore. I hear a gasp and look up to see Mr Stark staring with tears in his eyes. I resist the urge to cover them back up and close my eyes again not wanting to see his face which, at this point, is just sad.

"Ok Peter, they're all healing nicely, no infection. I don't even think they need to be bandaged though I'm going to disinfect the area just to be safe." 

I feel the cotton ball swipe over my arm and as soon as its done in shove my sleeve back down and open my eyes. "Don't look at me like that." I snap at Mr Stark, annoyed at this point "Like what?"  
"Your giving me that look you give your suits or engines when there broken and your figuring out how to fix them. This isn't something you can just fix, I'm not one of your bots with an messed up line of code or muddled up wiring so just stop."  
"Ok, I'm sorry i didn't mean to, but do you want to talk about it?"  
I sigh "Might as well, your just going to pester me till I do."  
I stand up and start to walk to the common room, trusting Mr Stark to follow me as I realy don't want to be in the med bay any longer than necessary.

Getting to the common room, I see Clint holding two mugs, he hands one to me and one to Mr Stark, "A deals a deal" and with that he leaves. I sit on the sofa and turn to look at Mr Stark who looks just as nervous as i feel.  
"Why?"  
Its a simple question, one I should be able to answer easily but tits like the words are clawing at my throat trying to stay inside. So instead of the clear cut answer I want to give it comes out as a jumbled rambling mess that makes no seance to anyone but me and somehow Mr Stark. 

"So.. what your saying is that you feel guilty for all the times you failed to save someone completely so you punish your self to get rid of the guilt?"  
"I mean... its not just not being able to save people, its also being a burden to you and May, being a horrible friend to Ned and Mj stuff like that.." I correct but essentially got it the first time.  
"Oh kid, you are never, and I mean never, a burden on me and I'm sure your aunt will say the same. You need to learn that not every thing is your fault, you didn't pull the trigger that killed your uncle, you didn't set the fire that hurt that little girl. You need to learn to forgive your self kid, and that's something a professional can help with if you're up to it."  
"Yeah I know. Sorry"  
At this he gets up and sits right next to me pulling me into a hug, "You have nothing to be sorry for".

><><><><><

Walking in to school the next day, I see Ned and Mj at my locker. I brace my self and walk up to them, the biggest smile I can muster on my face, "Hey gu... ooof" Ned slams into my giving me a hug that without my enhanced strength would very likely have broken a few bones. 

Nether of them say anything about it the rest of the day which I am grateful for but I do catch them staring at my arm all day which is slightly nerve racking but I understand. At the end of the day I give them both hugs and apologise for being such a crappy friend to which I get a hit on the head for from Mj which is her equivalent of a hug at this point. I realise as I'm walking to the tube station that for the first time in a long time I actually have a real smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long and is short, but I hope it makes a satisfying end to the book. as always please leave kudos if you liked and comment any suggestions and such. <3<3<3


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